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John Foster
John Foster is an educational writer and children’s poet. As well as authoring twelve books of his own poetry including The Poetry Chest (OUP) and The Land of the Flibbertigibbets (Salt), he is the UK’s most prolific anthologist of children’s poetry, having compiled over 150 anthologies. His best selling books include Twinkle, Twinkle Chocolate Bar (OUP) and the poetry collections illustrated by Korky Paul, such as A Rocketful of Space Poems (OUP). He is a frequent visitor to schools, libraries and festivals as a poetry performer. His forthcoming books include Eggs with Legs, illustrated by Korky Paul (Troika) and Don’t Stand Under a Flying Cow (King’s England Press). His website is here.
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I bet you couldn’t beat this brilliant poem by John Foster – but there’s no harm in trying!
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Beat That
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Our dog ran the London Marathon
in under one hour.
He raised over a million pounds
For the Dogs Benevolent Society.
Beat that! I said.
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Our cat went on Master Chef.
He cooked a dish of minced mice
With sparrow’s beak sauce,
He won first prize and is now head chef at The Ritz.
Beat that! He said.
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Our hamster swam the Channel,
Climbed the Eiffel Tower
And rowed across the Atlantic within 24 hours.
He was knighted by the Queen
And became Prime Minister.
Beat that! I said.
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Our rabbit helped Superman
beat off an attack of mutant aliens.
He became King of the World,
and lived until he was 900 years old.
Beat that! He said.
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Our giraffe fought King Kong,
Became Master of the Universe
And ruled for a million years.
Beat that! I said.
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A giraffe couldn’t do that, he said.
This one did, I said.
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© John Foster
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