A feast of funny food poems, accompanied by some really very dodgy laugh-out-loud facts, except for the ones that are clearly true, such as 99.4% of children say they would prefer Brussel sprouts to chocolate if they had to choose one or the other for a snack.
These are read-out-loud poems, and having heard the one reproduced below performed by Neal, extremely effective and great fun.
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Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana
What’s the longest fruit you’ve seen?
Found in milkshake, yoghurt and ice cream
When they’re on my plate I lick it clean
A tremendous taste
Too good to waste
Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana
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You’ll slip upon their slimy skin
So put the peel into the bin
What word doesn’t stop after it begins?
Simply unending
I’m always bending my
Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana
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You can mash them
You can squash them
You can squish them
You can gulp them
You can fry them
You can spread them
You can pound them
You can pulp them
When I ask what food you’ve had today
I’m hoping that you’re going to say
Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana
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Monkeys eat them at the zoo
They’re yellow and black not orange and blue
Ideal in soup or in a stew
They’re versatile
Shaped like a smile
Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana
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Buy them by the kilo, pound or bunch
Stick them in your sandwich box for lunch
They’re the ideal snack when it comes to the crunch
Travelling all the way from Jamaica
What fruit’s got a name that’s a record breaker?
Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana
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Before you get some from the store
Shout out this poem’s title once more
Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana
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© Neal Zetter
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My favourite poem by Joshua Seigal is By Royal Appointment. I’m pretty sure she does like a certain dark brown spread for toast. Who doesn’t?
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Yuck and Yum, a Feast of Funny Food Poems by Joshua Seigal and Neal Zetter, Troika, is available here.
Poetry Roundabout 