Joshua Seigal is a London-based poet, performer and educator. He has three published books and has performed all over the world. He has held residencies at numerous schools, is an official National Poetry Day Ambassador, and was shortlisted for a National Literacy Trust Award and the Laugh Out Loud Award. Joshua works with children of all ages and abilities, as well as running training days for teachers and doing comedy and spoken word performances for grown ups. His website is here and his book, I don’t Like Poetry, illustrated by Chris Piascik, here. His latest book is I Bet I Can Make You Laugh, published by Bloomsbury and illustrated by Tim Wesson.
The poem Joshua has sent appears in I Bet I Can Make You Laugh (I bet he can!):
If you want to annoy my dog,
(and I mean really, really annoy him),
don’t bother taking his dinner.
He’ll look bemused, maybe let out
a whine, but he can handle it.
Nor is it any use to snatch his toy,
or to cut short his walk –
he’ll get confused, maybe sulk
for a time, but he’ll face it with patience.
No, if you want to really, really annoy my dog
on his head.
He’ll bristle and yelp
and bat the breeze with his paws…
He’ll snuffle and yap
and snap the gust with his jaws…
If you want to really, really annoy my dog,
a tiny little puff or air
will get him as growly
as a grizzly bear.
And it isn’t just my dog:
if you want to really, really annoy my dad
just do what I do
and climb in bed with him,
on a Sunday morning,
in his face…
© Joshua Seigal
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