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Vivian French
Vivian was first published in 1990, after careers in the theatre, counselling and storytelling. Despite publishing around 300 titles, Viv leads a very busy life away from her keyboard conducting writing workshops for both children and adults, teaching at the University of the West of England and the Edinburgh College of Art, and mentoring new writers and illustrators. She has responded with enthusiasm to invitations from schools and libraries throughout the UK, and has toured from Orkney to Oklahoma, and particularly enjoyed running writing workshops in Ibiza and Majorca. She is constantly in demand to contribute to collections and anthologies, and one of her poems was included recently in the anthology Wonderland: Alice in Poetry, edited by Michaela Morgan (Macmillan).
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This wonderful poem by Vivian is the one in the above anthology:
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The Crocodile and the Undertaker
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‘A question,’ said the crocodile
While walking down a hill
‘I’ve drunk a vat of gasoline
Will I be very ill?’
The undertaker rubbed his hands
‘I trust you’ve made your will?’
The crocodile looked at him
And shed a silver tear
‘I sometimes think, my oldest friend,
You wish I wasn’t here.’
“No, no,’ the undertaker said.
‘I hold you very dear.’
He smiled an undertakers smile
His thoughts were cold as ice
‘A crocodile bag and shoes
Would bring a pretty price…’
But all he said was, ‘Let me buy
You dinner somewhere nice.’
‘Once there,’ the undertaker thought
‘I’ll have no more delays.
I’ll light the match. the gasoline
Will make a merry blaze
And so my crocodilly friend
Will end his scaly days.’
They found a little baker’s shop
And ordered apple pie
The undertaker lit a match —
It fizzled with a sigh
The crocodile looked at him
And winked his yellow eye
‘I think perhaps it’s time to dine
Pray, pass the pepper shaker
Today’s the day, my oldest friend
You go to meet your maker!’
He opened wide his toothy jaws
And ate the undertaker.
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© Vivian French
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