Posted in Funny Poem a Day

Funny Poems: Bullet Ant, by Liz Brownlee

I’m calling this a funny poem – but it certainly wouldn’t be funny if you were stung by this ant! It has the most painful sting of all ants, bees and wasps, and it can cause temporary paralysis. The terrible pain lasts for up to 24 hours. Luckily, it does not kill you!

 

The Bullet Ant

 

This creature’s sting is fiery hot.

though it’s so small it’s hard to spot.

“I’VE BEEN SHOT!” its victims pant –

that’s why it’s called the bullet ant!

 

© Liz Brownlee

 

The bullet ant is real – but you could write about a dangerous animal you know, perhaps a piranha fish, a tiger or a venomous snake, and only tell lies about the animal in your poem. Maybe you want to make it cuddly… or perhaps give it magical powers, or possibly you might want to exaggerate its dangerousness. Have fun!

 

Joke:

Did you hear about the ant that won the Nobel Peace Prize?

˙ʇuɐ-ᴉllᴉɹq sɐʍ ǝH

 

The great bullet ant image above was taken in Ecuador by Gail Hampshire, gailhampshire on Flikr. It is used with a Creative Commons license.

 

Posted in A Rainbow of Poems, Funny Poem a Day

A Rainbow of Poems: Hallowe’en by Roger Stevens

Today we have an orange funny poem. Above you can see puppy Lola luxuriating on an enormous orange bean bag… she still likes big beds the bigger the better. Today’s poem is by Roger Stevens – thank you, Roger!

 

Hallowe’en

 

Darren’s got a pumpkin

Hollowed out a treat

He put it in the window

It scared half the street

 

I wish I had a pumpkin

But I’ve not and it’s a shame

I’ve got a scary carrot

But it’s not the same

 

© Roger Stevens

 

Joke:

Are any vampires good at maths?

¡ɐןnɔɐɹᗡ ʇunoϽ noʎ ssǝןun – oN

Posted in Funny Poem a Day

Funny Poem a Day: Komodo by Brian Moses

Here is Lola running very fast – is she running away from something (like a komodo dragon?), or towards something? What do you think? Or is she just enjoying leaping through the buttercups?

Komodo dragons kill their prey with a venomous bite – a bit like like a snake. It is one of the few venomous lizards in the world.

You could write a poem about a monster. Describe your monster. What does it look like? Why is it so scary? What is its super-power? What does it eat? What colour is it, and what sound does it make? When you have written your poem, look at each line and think about how to make it more interesting. What colour did you choose? If it was brown, try and compare that brown to something else with a simile. Is it the same colour as ploughed fields? Or sludgy rivers? Or shiny conkers?

Today’s komodo poem is by Brian Moses – Brian’s website gives a poetry-writing idea every single day!

Komodo

 

You’d better not take a selfie

with the dragon they call komodo

or hocus-pocus, diplodocus,

you’ll be more dead than a dodo.

 

He won’t be a photo in your family book

even if you ask him nicely.

The look he gives you shouldn’t be ignored,

his expression is simply icy.

 

He won’t be your dancing partner

in your holiday video,

he can’t be tamed & ridden

in some wild west rodeo.

 

It’s no good trying to persuade him,

he’s always in a bad mood,

and don’t call round when he’s eating,

asking to share his food.

 

It’s senseless to risk being headless

when he closes his mighty jaws

or find that you’re suddenly swiped

by a flick from his wicked claws.

 

Oh komodo, no komodo,

if what I hear is true,

nothing but another komodo

should risk getting close to you.

 

© Brian Moses

 

Here’s a joke:

 

Q:What do komodo dragons have that no other animal has?

A: sǝıqɐq opoɯoʞ

 

Here is Brian’s pet dog, Honey:

 

Posted in Funny Poem a Day

Funny Poem a Day: Orange by Coral Rumble

This is Lola’s reaction to an orange. Mu-uuuum! I was expecting a treat! Not this thing of pips smelling of pith! Bafflement is, I think you will agree, written all over her face. Luckily, she didn’t have to eat it. I gave her a morsel of meat.

Today’s poem is by Coral Rumble, thank you, Coral!

© Coral Rumble

And here is a joke Coral sent:

I knew Coral was fond of cookies but I didn’t know that they served a purpose! I must eat more myself.

Here is Coral’s little dog, Gus.