Lola doesn’t often wear a hat. But when she does, I think you will agree, she does it with aplomb. This is her in piratical mood. Today’s poem is about a hat. Or is it? It’s by Jonathan Humble, thank you Jonathan!
Joke:
What did the tie say to the hat?
¡punoɹɐ ƃuɐɥ ll,I ‘pɐǝɥ ɐ uo oƃ noʎ
Here is Jonathan’s lovely dog, Arthur, just after eating a biscuit!
This is Lola looking a tad apprehensive. She’s a bit scared of the subject of the poem below, sent by Jonathan Humble – thank you Jonathan! I have reassured her that it’s NOT TRUE. The lovely dinosaur is drawn by Philip Waddell, who is also a poet! Thanks, Phil!
Karmasaurus
I am a little dinosaur;
the only one at school.
When teachers are not looking,
I’m the butt of ridicule.
At playtimes I’m not chosen
for games like hide and seek,
I often end up by myself,
alone and feeling bleak.
Sometimes I lose my sandshoes
and haven’t got a clue
just why I find them soaking
floating in the cloakroom loo.
The bigger kids will taunt me;
they’re such a nasty bunch.
But there’s no need to worry ‘cos
I eat them for my lunch.
© 2019 Jonathan Humble
Why can’t you hear a pterosaur using the bathroom? Because the “p” is silent!
Here is Jonathans’s pet dog, Arthur!
My Aunties Come From Yorkshire
I have a lot of aunties,
A dozen rare and best;
They’re spread around in t’county’s towns
Up north, south, east and west.
These aunties are quite feisty,
Formidable and tough.
In times of strife their pluckiness
Shines out when things get rough.
A case in point is Rita;
Demure and introvert,
Ostensibly a dear old thing
In pinny and tweed skirt.
But Aunty Rita’s fearless,
Despite her dodgy knees,
She treks up t’jungle rivers
In her slippers, saving trees.
With thick prescription glasses
And loosely held false teeth,
She’ll scale up t’steepest edifice,
Ignoring what’s beneath.
For Aunty Rita’s famous
Within that SAS;
No lurking foe could lay her low,
Or make her acquiesce.
If wading through a swampland
And struck by t’deadly snake,
She’ll give it what for with t’handbag
Then leave it in her wake.
She’s part of Yorkshire folklore,
With daring tales abound,
A place where dear old aunties
Can amaze, shock and astound.
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© Jonathan Humble
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Jonathan Humble is a teacher and a poet – his website can be found here.
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