Yuck and Yum by Joshua Seigal and Neal Zetter

 

A feast of funny food poems, accompanied by some really very dodgy laugh-out-loud facts, except for the ones that are clearly true, such as 99.4% of children say they would prefer Brussel sprouts to chocolate if they had to choose one or the other for a snack.

These are read-out-loud poems, and having heard the one reproduced below performed by Neal, extremely effective and great fun.

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Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana

 

What’s the longest fruit you’ve seen?

Found in milkshake, yoghurt and ice cream

When they’re on my plate I lick it clean

A tremendous taste

Too good to waste

Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana

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You’ll slip upon their slimy skin

So put the peel into the bin

What word doesn’t stop after it begins?

Simply unending

I’m always bending my

Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana

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You can mash them

You can squash them

You can squish them

You can gulp them

You can fry them

You can spread them

You can pound them

You can pulp them

When I ask what food you’ve had today

I’m hoping that you’re going to say

Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana

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Monkeys eat them at the zoo

They’re yellow and black not orange and blue

Ideal in soup or in a stew

They’re versatile

Shaped like a smile

Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana

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Buy them by the kilo, pound or bunch

Stick them in your sandwich box for lunch

They’re the ideal snack when it comes to the crunch

Travelling all the way from Jamaica

What fruit’s got a name that’s a record breaker?

Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana

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Before you get some from the store

Shout out this poem’s title once more

Ba nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana

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© Neal Zetter

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My favourite poem by Joshua Seigal is By Royal Appointment. I’m pretty sure she does like a certain dark brown spread for toast. Who doesn’t?

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Yuck and Yum, a Feast of Funny Food Poems by Joshua Seigal and Neal Zetter, Troika, is available here.

 

 

 

Posted in A to Z Blog Challenge 2018

Z is for Children’s Poet and Performer Neal Zetter, #AtoZChallenge #ZtoA

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Neal Zetter

Neal Zetter is an award-winning children’s author, comedy performance poet and entertainer. Most days Neal is found performing or running fun poetry writing or performance workshops in schools and libraries with children, teens, adults or families. He has worked in all 33 London Boroughs and many, many other UK cities. Neal has written a whole host of comedy poetry books, all published by Troika (you can see some here). Future Troika books for 6-13 year olds include Yuck & Yum (A Feast of Funny Food Poems) illustrated by Scoular Anderson, with poet Joshua Seigal, out April 26th.  More information is here. Neal’s Twitter page is here, and Neal’s Amazon Author page is here.

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This is one of Neal’s funny poems:

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It’s Got to Be a Pea

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What is that tiny little ball that’s knocking at your door?
Grass-green and round it makes no sound when rolling ‘cross the floor
Born in a pod and served with cod it doesn’t grow on trees
It’s got to be
It has to be
It’s certainly a pea

It might come from a freezer bag or fresh or from a can
It might be liquidised in soup though would taste weird in jam
What’s fun to flick at dinnertime at friends or family?
It’s got to be
It has to be
It’s definitely a pea

It could be minted, split, black-eyed or even marrow fat
Or squished and squashed beneath your shoe, steamrollered, fairly flat
Don’t stick one up your nostril it will make you sniff and sneeze
It’s got to be
It has to be
(The 16th letter of your ABC)
It’s unquestionably a pea

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© Neal Zetter (From Yuk and Yum, Troika Books, co-authored with Joshua Seigal)

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Posted in Poetry Book Parade

Here Come the Superheroes, by Neal Zetter, illustrated by Chris White

Neal Zetter is a London-based comedy performance poet, author and entertainer who uses poetry writing and performance to develop literacy, confidence, self-expression, creativity and presentation skills in 3 to 103 year olds.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and I’m certain any young person will as well. The illustrations by Chris White, writer, illustrator and performer, match the fun and energetic raps and rhymes perfectly.

Each poem comes with additional secret data about each Superhero character.

In fact I was moved to write my review as a poem straight after reading it, which must also be a sign that it will inspire youngsters to try a superhero poem of their own. Here is my pale imitation of a superhero poem…

Here Come the Superheroes

the name is very apt,

superhero girls and boys

read and you’ll be rapt

I tried to tear my eyes away

but I was truly trapped

read all through the book and then

rapped till my eyeballs snapped

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Yes, well, I am not a rapper. But Neal is… here’s an example snippet from the first verse of Here Comes Sister Speed:

 

Here Comes Sister Speed

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Faster than a flash

She’s a raging rocket

She’s a white-hot wire

An electric socket

She’s a lightning bolt

She’s a rampant cheetah

plot and plan a crime

and she will defeat you

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Whizzing to the rescue

in your hour of need

Here comes sister Speed!

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© Neal Zetter

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I read all the poems out loud and they are real performance poems – I suspect they make a wonderful set in schools.  The whole book is beautifully produced with lovely quality paper and printing. Recommended for Superhero fans everywhere.

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Published by Troika Books, available here.

 

 

Freedom Poem for National Poetry Day from Neal Zetter

When the Bell Goes

 

When the bell goes
The long day’s ending
When the bell goes
Grab coats and bags

Thrilled and overjoyed
Making lots of noise
Running to the gates with all the other girls and boys

When the bell goes
We’re so excited
When the bell goes
At half-past three

Hurrying for home
Chatting on our phones
Stopping at the ice cream van to buy a strawberry cone

When the bell goes
We’re screaming, shouting
When the bell goes
We’re crazy, nuts

Dashing down the streets
Sucking sticky sweets
Practising our rapping to the rhythms and the beats

When the bell goes
The lesson’s finished
When the bell goes
We come alive

Jumping over walls
Breaking every rule
Doing lots of stuff we’re not allowed to do at school

I don’t care about anything
When I hear ring, ring, ring, ring
When the bell goes
When the bell goes
When the bell goes

 

©  Neal Zetter,