Posted in A Rainbow of Poems, Funny Poem a Day

A Rainbow of Poems – I Wish, by Carole Bromley

In 2013, we toured all the 80 Gromit statues in Bristol (and one in London, Paddington) to raise some money for Medical Detection Dogs, who trained Lola. This beautiful golden Gromit was at St Nicholas Market. Gold and Silver are at the end of the rainbow, not in the sky, but in the ground… there is more gold and silver in Carole Bromley‘s poem, below – thank you, Carole!

 

I Wish

 

I wish I could live in the dolls’ house

and sit on a velvet chair and sip

from a silver goblet  

 

I could sleep under that patchwork

grandma made with a cotton wool pillow

and keep my socks on all night 

 

I’d loll against the kitchen sink

like the silly pipe-cleaner doll

washing the one gold plate

 

Sometimes I’d take a bath in the pink tub

and gaze up at the bare bulb

until it grew late

 

then I’d take down one of the paper books

from the shelf and kick off my shoes

and contemplate

 

If I felt like it, I’d go out of the tidy front door

carrying the tiny peg basket

and gather china fruit

 

I’d share it out with the wooden dog

and the three-legged cat

and warm myself at the grate.

 

If I could shrink and not grow up

I’d live my life in the room of gold chairs

behind the five-barred gate.

 

© Carole Bromley

 

Joke:

What’s black and white and red all over?

¡ɹǝdɐdsʍǝu ɐ

Posted in A Rainbow of Poems, Funny Poem a Day

A Rainbow of Poems: Hallowe’en by Roger Stevens

Today we have an orange funny poem. Above you can see puppy Lola luxuriating on an enormous orange bean bag… she still likes big beds the bigger the better. Today’s poem is by Roger Stevens – thank you, Roger!

 

Hallowe’en

 

Darren’s got a pumpkin

Hollowed out a treat

He put it in the window

It scared half the street

 

I wish I had a pumpkin

But I’ve not and it’s a shame

I’ve got a scary carrot

But it’s not the same

 

© Roger Stevens

 

Joke:

Are any vampires good at maths?

¡ɐןnɔɐɹᗡ ʇunoϽ noʎ ssǝןun – oN

Posted in A Rainbow of Poems, Funny Poem a Day

A Rainbow of Poems – The Wolf, by Carole Bromley

Here’s Lola looking slightly guilty as she knows she is not meant to have snuck onto my duvet… today we have a wonderful ‘red’ funny poem about Red Riding Hood, with a twist – The Wolf, by Carole Bromley, thank you, Carole!

 

The Wolf

 

It’s not true that I ate the granny;

thought about it but she was too skinny,

so tough she’d have given me wind.

All I did was put her in a cupboard.

 

The riding hood made me see red

all that ooh Grandma stuff she said

gruff voice, hairy hands, big teeth.

Couldn’t she see what was underneath?

 

And I never tempted her off that path

Flowers? Me? Don’t make me laugh.

What I really wanted was those cakes,

that honey, those yummy tray bakes.

 

I’m allergic to pesky kids in red

and their bony grans. Whatever I did

I didn’t deserve that axe,

just wanted to chill out, relax.

 

The bed was so comfy, the pillow so soft

I put on the nighty, felt a bit daft

but curled up tight for a bit of a kip

when little red turns up, skippety skip

 

with marigolds in a little posy.

Why did she have to be so nosy?

Ooh Grandma this Ooh grandma that,

questions, questions. What a brat.

 

All the better to eat you with. My joke

fell flat. Before you know it this bloke

barges in, never even knocked,

broke the door down. It wasn’t locked.

 

Opened the wardrobe, let out gran,

came at me with his chopper. I ran

in night-cap and bloomers down that lane,

Catch me going there again.

 

© Carole Bromley

 

Joke:

What are the wolf’s favourite days of the year?

¡sʎɐp-ᴉ-lʍoɥ ǝɥʇ