Posted in Funny Poem a Day

Funny Poem a Day: Goodbye Cruel World, by Trevor Parsons

You’d be surprised at how easy it is to lose a small dog in the long grass when out on a walk. Lola is always losing herself, but luckily she has perfected the technique of dancing on her hind legs to make herself taller so she can see me over the tops of the grasses. Here she is demonstrating!

Today’s funny poem by Trevor Parsons is about disappearing piece by piece…thank you, Trevor!

 

Goodbye, Cruel World

 

I’ve lost my nerve, I’m losing my voice,

my heart has been stolen by Jane,

I’ve given a hand to a stranger

and my face has just fallen again.

 

My legs have shot out from under me,

my arms have been grabbed from behind,

I’ve lent my ears to some Romans

and I’m rapidly losing my mind.

 

My bottom’s been pinched, and my teacher

has taken quite enough of my cheek –

if I carry on going at this rate

I’ll be gone by the end of the week.

 

© Trevor Parsons

 

Trevor doesn’t have any pets – but he has sent a joke:

Q: What do you rub on a sore pig?

A: Oinkment!

 

I have heard that young people are posting pictures of rainbows in their windows to express and spread love and happiness while everyone is at home. How wonderful. Here is Lola with a rainbow Gromit – and very happy she looks, too.

Posted in National Poetry Day 2019

National Poetry Week Lie Poem by Trevor Parsons

Trevor Parsons was born in Parsons Green, London, but, disappointingly, was not the son of a parson. After studying dentistry at London University (he decided it was not for him) he had a variety of jobs including being a postman. He has written poetry since his postman days and for the last twenty years has written for children as well. He has had poems in dozens of anthologies and in 2011 had his first children’s collection, Hear Here (illustrated by Lucy Creed) published –  available here! He also writes poems for greetings cards. This is his website.

 

Lying Around

 

Lying on the beach

lying in the sun

lying on a lounger

lying having fun.

Lying by the water’s edge

lying in the foam

couldn’t go to school that day

lying ill at home.

 

Lying in department stores

lying, she was caught

lying in a cell before

lying in the court.

Lying to the magistrate

she was nowhere near the crime

lying she was on the beach

lying all the time.

 

© Trevor Parsons

Thank you for this excellent poem, Trevor!

Posted in A to Z Blog Challenge 2018

P is for Children’s Poet Trevor Parsons, #AtoZChallenge #ZtoA

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Trevor Parsons

Trevor Parsons was born in Parsons Green, London, but, disappointingly, was not the son of a parson. After studying dentistry at London University (he decided it was not for him) he had a variety of jobs including being a postman and cataloguing pressed flowers; then he trained as a teacher and after that formed a company making models for film companies etc. Trevor has written poetry since his postman days and for the last twenty years has written for children as well. He has had poems in dozens of anthologies and in 2011 had his first children’s collection, Hear Here (illustrated by Lucy Creed) published –  available here! He also writes poems for greetings cards. This is his website.

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This is one of his witty poems:

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All About Poets

 

A poet is for life

not just for Christmas Day.

Stroking a silky-haired poet

can soothe your troubles away.

 

A long-haired breed of poet

should always be kept well-groomed.

Keep their sleeping-quarters

in a draught-free part of the room.

 

Do not indulge your poet

with titbits from your plate.

Encourage regular exercise

to avoid excessive weight.

 

It is generally thought unhealthy

to have poets in your bed.

Be sensitive about disposal

once your poet is dead.

 

Sorry, I meant to say ‘pet’.

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© Trevor Parsons

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