Here’s Lola looking slightly guilty as she knows she is not meant to have snuck onto my duvet… today we have a wonderful ‘red’ funny poem about Red Riding Hood, with a twist – The Wolf, by Carole Bromley, thank you, Carole!
It’s not true that I ate the granny;
thought about it but she was too skinny,
so tough she’d have given me wind.
All I did was put her in a cupboard.
The riding hood made me see red
all that ooh Grandma stuff she said
gruff voice, hairy hands, big teeth.
Couldn’t she see what was underneath?
And I never tempted her off that path
Flowers? Me? Don’t make me laugh.
What I really wanted was those cakes,
that honey, those yummy tray bakes.
I’m allergic to pesky kids in red
and their bony grans. Whatever I did
I didn’t deserve that axe,
just wanted to chill out, relax.
The bed was so comfy, the pillow so soft
I put on the nighty, felt a bit daft
but curled up tight for a bit of a kip
when little red turns up, skippety skip
with marigolds in a little posy.
Why did she have to be so nosy?
Ooh Grandma this Ooh grandma that,
questions, questions. What a brat.
All the better to eat you with. My joke
fell flat. Before you know it this bloke
barges in, never even knocked,
broke the door down. It wasn’t locked.
Opened the wardrobe, let out gran,
came at me with his chopper. I ran
in night-cap and bloomers down that lane,
Catch me going there again.
© Carole Bromley
What are the wolf’s favourite days of the year?